So you've memorized the book of pimp moves, you know the game, and you get this next-level, ultrapimp notion to have the germans make you an ultrapimp platinum car—not stainless steel, which was so like done in the 80's, but straight up platinum—and with that you're all superconfident you got the pimp sweepstakes won. every organization responsible for making lists of leading pimps will put your shit at the tippy top. a platinum car. blue-ribbon, first prize-at-the-county-fair-winning PIMP. you're so fucking pimp you can wear a dress all day and people still be all, "Daaaamn. Pimp." and then some motherfucker safely lands a plane on the motherfucking hudson river.
as shown above, all your shit can do is drive to the mall. order an Orange Julius. front like some pilot didn't just leave a slap mark on your face so deep CSI can I.D. his fingerprints.
2 comments:
When i played Dungeons & Dragons, platinum was like the most desirable metal. So this car would be like worth killing 5 dragons, at least.
yeah, uh, thanks, Anonymous. if in fact that is your real name. let me see if i can translate my post into nerd: while platinum is indeed a rare metal, worth, say, the skin of 5 dragons, Captain Sully basically mixed jet fuel with the blood of 500 dragons he freshly decapitated, flame-threw the mixture over the remaining colonies of dragon eggs on earth, and dined on a 60 gajillion dragon egg omelet as a breakfast appetizer. we clear?
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