in addition to a shit ton of fake indignation, the above photo instigated the following email conversation:
POINT: Michael Phelps....dummy.
COUNTERPOINT: I respectfully disagree. The kid’s from Baltimore. In B-town we have a strong tradition of character-building thru testing one’s own physical limits, a cornerstone to which is one’s ability to take on alcohol and drugs. And I like what the bong photo says. It says, “Look how I can handicap myself and still beat your sorry assess.” The world, Americans especially, need to grow the fuck up. Enough with the ongoing mock outrage. Unless we want to be a nation of babies.
Well done, Michael.
COUNTERPOINT SUPPORT: I totally agree with you. Big deal. The "reporters" who spend their lives dredging up this crap have nothing to be proud of.
POINT: Well, the fact is that he might lose endorsement deals and future deals because of this picture. I agree that ripping his photos down from locker rooms is bullshit, but the guy is basically the only swimmer in the world who could ensure the financial security of his entire family forever by maintaining a certain public image. It ain't fair, but all the hard work is done and he should have rode the wave for a while before he cut loose. I know, he's a kid and bound to make mistakes, but this one cost him his job.
COUNTERPOINT: Yeah. Because everyone's gay. And agrees to prop up the phony outrage. And marketers are chickenshit. And everyone is gay.
COUNTERPOINT SUPPORT: Exactly.
MORE COUNTERPOINT SUPPORT: And really, what percent of those media faggs have never hit the binger?
POINT: I don't disagree with any of that. I'm just saying that the guy is a fuckin' idiot because he won the swimming lottery, should have know that they hired him for his image, and broke the contract by getting photographed taking a hit off a bong. I don't take a moral stand on any of that other than pointing out that he just gave away a meal ticket that may never come again.
COUNTERPOINT: I hear you. I think it highlights our idiocy as a people, not his idiocy.
POINT SUPPORT RE: “DUMMY”: Yea, great [photo] to have to explain to [my 4 boys].
COUNTERPOINT: “he’s smoking drugs, boys. People do a lot of things to alter their base mental state. You will too. But I want you to do it with extreme caution and with profound respect for the damage it can do. There are no drugs nor drink that aren’t dangerous, and they’ve ruined a lot of people’s lives. And now look what michael phelps did to his life with just this one silly act. Is his future something you would trade for that one experience of drugs?”
You’re welcome.
P.S.: the single greatest thing you can do to keep your kids away from drug problems is to talk to them about drugs. Fact. Even if in your talk you encourage them to do drugs. Talk about drugs with your kids prevents their developing drug problems by a precise and reliable percentage. My source for this: studies done by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Bottom line: if you don’t want your kids developing drug problems, you should thank phelps for introducing the opportunity to discuss drugs.
POINT FLOP: Well, you're right. We have definitely entered a stage at [our house] where they are getting exposed to all sorts of non-innocent parts of life. Sex, drugs, violence, mean people, whatever. So yea, we talked through it for sure. And you know, the Phelps thing really is just another opportunity for them to learn and get their brains around it.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Would they make anything out of it in Europe or just let it go?
CORRECT ANSWER: Europe could give a fuck and will laugh at America's feigned outrage, prudishness, and hypocrisy. (addendum: although England could prove me wrong.)
CONCLUSION: Let the kid smoke weed. Let him pawn his gold medals to buy a giant flat-screen, XBOX 360, and a Vertu phone with Dominos on speed dial. And let the rest of us roll a fatso, crank Acid King’s album “III,” and pass that shit around. And mind our own fucking business. Except to admire michael’s sweet-ass watch. That shit is TIGHT.
"INHALE, CLINTON!"
No comments:
Post a Comment